Big Man Blogging

I do love my sports channels.  I’m one of those people who can watch an entire game or sporting event and then switch immediately to ESPN and watch highlights/analysis of the same event!

But there is a nasty intrusion on my viewing habits that I simply can’t stand…commercials!

Especially the ads that are geared toward men, I can deal with the erectile dysfunction stuff (old men need love too), the annoying ‘Girls gone Wild’ (again old men need love too!), the latest workout video or prop, “trucks, trucks, trucks, trucks, trucks, trucks, trucks…” you know that one, and of course the 19 year old girl who wants you to text message her, now,  for $200 dollars a letter (for the last time old men need love too).  

I understand, they have a captive audience, a male viewer, held hostage in his underwear by a couch, remote control, beverage and snacks.  I get it.

However I can no longer sit idly by and watch anymore hair replacement/restoration/regrowth commercials.  There must be a million different ads for retaining hair bombarding the male viewer with his various options to avoid the fate of BALDNESS! (cause old bald men can’t get no love if you believe those ads)

I’m here to free men everywhere of their fears of BALDNESS!  So fellas, if you’re tired of rubbing creams and ointments on your scalp, tired of surgerys, implants, wigs, tired of toupee’s, comb-overs, spray-can hair, if you’re tired of that receeding hair-line that forms a giant BAT-SIGNAL, Horseshoe or spotlight right in the middle of your head, I say to you LET IT GO! 

Shave it off, come on down, Join us.  Bald men are Ballin!  Women like us better than they like you because unless you’re they’re Grandfather, your look ain’t working!

There are great Bald men throughout history, the Dalai Lama, Michael Jordan, George “the animal” Steele (he ate turnbuckles and grunted but he was cool), Mr. Clean!  All successful, all smoothly shaven!

Baldness reverses the aging process because without that half-a-hair line you’re sporting, no one will know the Corvette you just bought was a mid-life crisis, if you’re Bald you just look cool! 

I prefer to think of mine as sort of a Big Sexy Milk Dud, perhaps a piece of Toffee or just some Chocolaty Goodness!  So make up a name for yourself, Cue-Ball, Casper, Moon, Eclipse, Dome, Sunrise, I don’t care, just embrace it cause Bald is Beautiful…and for some of you it’s obviously inevitable.

it’s a big-bald man’s world, it’s a big bald man blogging!