I know that people have been reading it.  Local media critic Ed Bark of unclebarky.com fame printed a few teasy excerpts to wet his readers appetites.

   One co-worker told me at a company picnic he was “looking over his shoulder as he read it,” concerned about the use of the word and what might happen if someone caught him reading it.  That’s what our world has come to when we speak about language or words that deal with controversy or discomfort, all fear and political correctness, no honesty or conscious debate.  

Equality is now Diversity, Disabilities are now Challenges, Black Americans are now African-Americans.

It seems we can re-lable almost anyone or anything, but in dealing with the redifinition of a word born exclusively of American History, the result is  SILENCE.

That is why I gave a shout out to my Mother at the end.  She once told me “if you can’t talk about it, you can’t solve it.”  If we can’t talk about “the word” then we’ll never reach an intelligent comfort level with it’s various definitions and how they apply.

  Go to a Hip Hop concert, do you see Gangsta Rappers calling out the thousands of non-black fans who’ve paid good money to see them when they repeat the lyrics to their songs that include “the word?”  No!  That alone is evidence of how the word’s use and the emotions around it have changed.

   Another Co-worker of mine said to me: “Randy, you only got away with writing that blog because you’re Black.”  “A white person would have been fired.”

    I’m calling BS on that one.  No one from NBC 5 has ever told me what to write or not write in a blog.  It’s great working for a station where controversy is open to debate.  No one has told me not to use ”the word” in this post, I’ve chosen to limit it’s use because as I said in the orginal post, it’s just not a big part of my vocabulary.

    I wrote the post, because once again, debate on talk shows from radio, to cable tv to the ladies of “the view” were discussing it while bleeping it from being heard on-air.

    I concede this, because I’m black, I have the life experience to talk openly about it.  In my lifetime it’s been used as a word to try and intimidate me and a term of endearment by people close to me.  The word is part of my life, part of American Life.

    I reject the notion completely that someone Non-Black can’t speak, blog or address “the word” in any way without incurring some sort of backlash or even being fired. 

    For instance, show me one example of someone White who’s used “the word” publically and suffered a consequence as a result? 

    We recently have buried two Republican US SENATORS who made careers of bigotry and racism, used “the word” in it’s most intimidating sense, at the most volitaile of times in America, they retired US SENATORS.

    Sen. Robert Byrd of West Va. is a former Grand Wizard of the KKK, He’s used “the word” and he remains a sitting US SENATOR.

     Mark Furman, remember him?  He repeated “the word” over and over and over and over and over and over…ON TAPE, had the audacity to commit perjury about his use of “the word” as a sworn Peace Officer and witness in a Double Murder trial!   Furman’s consequence, he makes more money now as a Conservative Talk Radio show host, motivational speaker, Published Author, and Fox News Contributor than he ever did as a cop.  I dare say the word “Nigger” is the best thing to ever happen to Furman.

   Then there’s old Don Imus, who years before the “nappy head-ho” comment got him essentially a 9 month vacation from an 8-figure salary radio gig, went on 60 MINUTES, the premier News Program of my Lifetime and told an interviewer he “specifically hired a producer to tell Nigger Jokes.”   He actually said that on 60 MINUTES.  Imus’ consequence, he’s still an 8-figure salary Radio Shock Jock. 

   So if you want to blog about it, blog, if you want to talk about it, talk but don’t hide behind excuses and don’t be so naive to think that we can eliminate ”the word” or it’s various uses from American Language.

   It’s funny, but one thing I’ve found to be universal in this world, no matter how small your vocabulary, unless you’re a young child, we always seem to know the dirty words.

    it’s a big man’s world, it’s a big man blogging.

Yanez is USA Boxing’s light-flyweight representative at the worlds games, he’s the teams Captain and until last week had been suspended and had to fight for reinstatement because he was awol from USA Boxing’s camp in Colorado Springs for several weeks.

The truth is that Yanez’s initial disappearance had a lot to do with the fact he and Team Yanez, the group of supporters who’ve nurtured his career,  simply weren’t getting along well with the more regimented training of the Team USA Coaching Staff.   Familiar surroundings is what got Yanez to the Olympics, Team Yanez’s mindset simply is why fix something that isn’t broke? 

That said, they should have had better communication with USA Boxing, which claims Yanez simply left them without any explanation and ultimately suspended him nearly derailing his chance for Gold.

What was unknown is that in Yanez’s defiance at returning to Colorado over coaching beefs, something called life happened.  Yanez’s sister, who’s battling drug addiction had to be checked into a hospital by her family and essentially forced to stay in rehab.  

If you know anything about people addicted to drugs, when I say forced to stay in rehab, I mean someone better physically be there or an addict will simply leave.  That calling for that next hit is a powerful thing, it defies all logic and is unimaginable to most but real to everyone who’s been exposed to it.

Bulmaro Yanez, Luis’ father, was doing the best he could, working his job and trying to care for his daughter but let’s face it, a man has got to sleep! 

That’s when Luis, stepped up.  In the middle of training for the most important moment of his life, the Olympics, a world stage event where a medal performance, especially Gold, could secure Yanez’s future financially for generations, he agreed to watch over his sister in rehab to give his father a break.

I had a chance to speak with the Senior Yanez about his son’s decision, He immediately broke down in tears…He told me he loved his son, was proud of him and proud that he chose to help his sister.

I asked him if he was aware his son nearly sacraficed his Olympic dream and perhaps millions of dollars had he not been reinstated?  He said quietly “yes, I’m aware…I’m also aware, he loves his sister.”

Man that hit home, I have one sister whom I  adore!  She’s older so a significant part of who I am comes from the love, lessons, nurturing and occaisional butt kickings I got from her growing up.

I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t do for my sister, I can’t think of anything that could ever come between us.  I know that if I were in Yanez’s shoes, I would have made the same decision without hesitation.

I will be rooting for Luis Yanez as he pursues Gold in the Olympics, agonizing every second of every round.  Whether he medals at all at this point in his life he’s proven  himself worthy of the Gold Standard for being a brother.

It’s certainly nice to know that a guy who get’s hit in the head for a living had the good sense to recognize the reality of his sister’s situation and place it’s importance above his own dreams.

it’s a big man’s world, it’s a big man blogging.

Scientists have discovered Watermelon has Viagara-ish like side effects for men who dare gorge themselves on a cool slice of summer heaven.  So much for that Apple a day! Vivaaaaaa-Watermelon!

And the Great N-word debate is back! For those of you who are sensitive, stop reading now!  We’ve made it a big powerful word in America, so a big man must blog on it cause I can’t tell this story on TV.

For the word of which I speak is the word Nigger, aka Nigga (depending geographically where you are) Nga, (if you are texting) yep the old word that dresses and redresses itself with all the headturning flair of a fashion model.   Causing oohs and aahs on American Society’s catwalk we call LIFE.

This disclaimer, I’ve used the word, I have white friends who’ve used the word around me and of coursed lived to tell, it’s a WORD!  One word, unique to our American vocabulary.   

As with all words I believe the only thing that matter’s in it’s use is Context,  because despite it’s history, it’s various and ever-evolving meanings provide us the ability to decide individually how, when and where we use it.

For instance, the word ‘Player’ used to be solely defined as a person engaged in some sort of competition.  Today, call a man a ‘Player’ and you’ve defined him as a womanizer.  A woman can call her best Girlfriend a ‘Bitch’ and it’s a term of endearment, I really can’t think of a scenario (not xrated) where a man can do the same and ‘Bitch’ not be considered derogatory.

I was downtown recently, A black man walked up to me and said, “are you Randy Mcilwain?” I acknowledged him and introduced myself, shook his hand and he said, “you my Nigga man, I watch you every night, keep doin yo thang my Nigga.”  I said, alright, nice to meet you, peace.  The first time he used it, I think it was in place of a word like “favorite” the second time perhaps “brother or friend.”   Should I have lectured him on the word’s history?  He was paying me a compliment, rather excitedly…context.

Jesse Jackson used it recently referring to Barak Obama.  Jackson said: “that Nigga is talking down to black people.”  Jesse is an old school civil rights leader and I will blog on him soon but in this case I think he substituted the word to mean  that “young punk” is talking down to black people because let’s face it, as Obama’s voice and views grow, Jackson’s relevance declines.

So All the debate about who can say it?  Who can’t say it?  Should we ban it?  It’s ridiculous!  At this point, No Group of American People Black, White, Asian, Latino, Native American or Combination of these ethnic groups have have decided to drop the word from American English or it’s daily use.

In plain English that ’Nigga’ (southern version of the word) ain’t going nowhere!  

And that’s okay, I’m really not big on whitewashing our past.  I’d rather have it all out there for public consumption than to go around pretending it doesn’t exist and doesn’t have a history.  

Will you ever hear me use it?  Certainly not On-air.  Not in any speeches, Not around children, Probably not ever.  You’d have to be close to me to hear me say it, frankly it’s not a big part of my vocabularly, but language and the ability to communicate is my Profession.   So from the Ghetto to the Govenors Mansion, I’m always prepared to use words within context to carry conversations, to get my questions answered and to retell stories. 

Can you ever Call me a Nigger?  Yes, depending again on context, if you walk up to me, Call me a Nigger and suddenly lose consciousness, Sorry, you used it in the wrong context.  Remember when giving that statement to Police, you don’t know why Newy hit you!  

Having doubts about whether based on your race you can use it?  For all non-Black Americans in the Greater Dallas area, here’s a test, Loop 12 Southside…Sweet Georgia Brown’s Restaurant, any saturday, early afternoon to late evening, go strike up a conversation with the folks standing in line for some mouth-watering Soul Food.   Drop a little Casual N-bomb (remember context) and see what happens.  Maybe sneak it in and pretend you’re listening on the ipod and singing along to some Hip Hop.

For those fearing riot, I can tell you the line will be long and intimidating  but it’s doubtful anyone will sacrifice their place in ordering to get a punch in on you, Hell the Klan could march bye shouting it with a bullhorn and no one would flinch, THE FOOD IS THAT DAMN GOOD! 

it’s a big (think N-word here) man’s world, it’s a big (here too) man blogging! 

ps. if you’re offended, sorry, but I was always taught if you can’t talk about it, you can’t solve it.  Thanks Mom.

You remember, it was during the Playoff’s in which your Mavs were being run off the court and you weren’t playing all that well yourself that you made the announcement that you like to smoke Marijuana, in the off-season.   You even dragged the rest of the NBA under that bus with you, saying that “most” players in the league enjoy a good puff-puff pass session themselves.

No one has forgotten, least of all David Stern and NBA officials.   So unless you’re in Jamaica where “everyting is ire man” and smoking weed is like dippin skoal. 

The Pee-Pee man Cometh, he cometh soon and he’s bringing a specimen Cup!

I’d hate to see you become the taller, thinner, version of Ricky Williams.   You have a chance to earn millions and millions of dollars over the course of the next 5-6 years and influence an untold number of children.

If you want you can retire to Jamaica, buy a farm, Grow and smoke Marijuana to your hearts content and you can do it all before you hit your late 30′s.

I surely hope you do the right thing and don’t get yourself suspended by the league but you can’t blame anyone else for the cloud that hangs over you now, you blew it right out of your own mouth! 

it’s a big man’s world, it’s a big man blogging.

One of the things I hear so-called Patriots and even some of my friends say often out of frustration is a pronouncement of how they want an “English Only” United States.  Comments usually triggered by a 10 second misunderstanding at a convience store or a phone call with someone on the other end with an accent but it doesn’t change the fact that in our melting pot, a nation of immigrants, wants “English Only.”

I must tell you that I could not disagree more.  I was an exchange student and lived in Brazil for a year, studying and learning Brazilian culture through the Rotary International Youth Exchange Program.

I had to learn Portuguese from scratch at 16 years old.  I’m still fluent and learning another language has been one of the more enriching experiences of my life.   My Portuguese has helped me Personally and Professionally.

You can’t be a reporter in North Texas and not run into some neighborhoods where English is not the first and only language used.  While I only can speak “get by” Spanish (I’m working on it) I can understand it perfectly because I’m fluent in Portuguese.

Young Latinos growing up Bilingual in our Nation will have a marked advantage in securing the Jobs of the future precisely because they aren’t “English Only” citizens.

Canada seems to get by just fine with English and French.  

Growing up in Ohio and Pennsylvania (Great Lake States) you’ll find many classically ethnic neighborhoods where Polish, Slavic, German and other European Languages are actually the norm over English.  My point is, we’re not weaker as a Nation because our citizens speak different languages, that’s a strength, and we’re stronger for our ability to work to communicate with each other despite our different backgrounds. 

Still some of you, don’t see my point or any merit in my argument so I will concede you this, I’ll hold my nose and support your “English Only” initiatives but I’ve got another one for you, another “only” rule I want your support for in return.

As we celebrate our nation’s Indepencence this week, I only want to see “American Flags Only.”  I do not care to view, celebrate, memorialize, re-enact, pay tribute, or honor in any way the Confederate Flag.

As far as I’m concerned the Confederate Flag is like a Terrorist Flag, it’s certainly not symbolic of anything Good or Great about the United States of America.

For those who say the Confederate Flag is part of Southern heritage, I remind you the “South” you live in is still in the United States!  South America is Below the equator.

I don’t mind State Flags, I think the Lone Star is cool, I like my “O” shaped stars for my Native Ohio but I can think of no reason why Americans and  Patriots would fly the Confederate Flag especially around Independence Day.

Read your History, the Confederacy tried to Destroy America, the Confederacy wanted it’s own corrupt, violent nation where enslaving Americans was legal and Justice was definetly not for all,  the Confederacy lost and Old Glory Won!  The Flag we pledge Allegiance too is not the Confederate Flag! 

Two separate Flags did to our nation what two languages could never achieve, War!  Families vs. Families, Neighbor vs. Neighbor, Border vs. Border. 

So there you have it proponent’s of “English Only”  I’ll support you (not all that enthusiastically) on your issue if you support me on mine of “American Flags Only” or are we not speaking the same Language?

it’s a big man’s world, it’s a big man blogging!

But there is a nasty intrusion on my viewing habits that I simply can’t stand…commercials!

Especially the ads that are geared toward men, I can deal with the erectile dysfunction stuff (old men need love too), the annoying ‘Girls gone Wild’ (again old men need love too!), the latest workout video or prop, “trucks, trucks, trucks, trucks, trucks, trucks, trucks…” you know that one, and of course the 19 year old girl who wants you to text message her, now,  for $200 dollars a letter (for the last time old men need love too).  

I understand, they have a captive audience, a male viewer, held hostage in his underwear by a couch, remote control, beverage and snacks.  I get it.

However I can no longer sit idly by and watch anymore hair replacement/restoration/regrowth commercials.  There must be a million different ads for retaining hair bombarding the male viewer with his various options to avoid the fate of BALDNESS! (cause old bald men can’t get no love if you believe those ads)

I’m here to free men everywhere of their fears of BALDNESS!  So fellas, if you’re tired of rubbing creams and ointments on your scalp, tired of surgerys, implants, wigs, tired of toupee’s, comb-overs, spray-can hair, if you’re tired of that receeding hair-line that forms a giant BAT-SIGNAL, Horseshoe or spotlight right in the middle of your head, I say to you LET IT GO! 

Shave it off, come on down, Join us.  Bald men are Ballin!  Women like us better than they like you because unless you’re they’re Grandfather, your look ain’t working!

There are great Bald men throughout history, the Dalai Lama, Michael Jordan, George “the animal” Steele (he ate turnbuckles and grunted but he was cool), Mr. Clean!  All successful, all smoothly shaven!

Baldness reverses the aging process because without that half-a-hair line you’re sporting, no one will know the Corvette you just bought was a mid-life crisis, if you’re Bald you just look cool! 

I prefer to think of mine as sort of a Big Sexy Milk Dud, perhaps a piece of Toffee or just some Chocolaty Goodness!  So make up a name for yourself, Cue-Ball, Casper, Moon, Eclipse, Dome, Sunrise, I don’t care, just embrace it cause Bald is Beautiful…and for some of you it’s obviously inevitable.

it’s a big-bald man’s world, it’s a big bald man blogging! 

Jim McKay on Saturday’s, in my youth in Canton, Ohio was the only white man in the Barbershop as we watched ABC’S Wide World of Sports on the small 13 inch Black and White TV.

Mounted in the corner above the Soda Machine, the Picture would get fuzzy if all the clippers were going at once, a haircut might take a while if Muhammad Ali or some other hero of our era was on.  We had to watch and McKay narrated those moments of my coming of age.

Tim Russert helped to fuel my passion for Political coverage and analysis.  I can’t count the times on sunday mornings I awoke ready for the Battle that would take place on Meet the Press.  Get em Russert!  You know he’s lying!  I’d be shouting at the TV, and as fast as I could think it, Russert would follow up and nail the evasive Politician, usually with the Politician’s own words.  Classic!

I imagine you too are having some great conversation right now, swapping stories and perhaps trying to convince God to give you an exclusive!

No one will ever replace either of you, for us who practice in your profession, we can only aspire…

it’s a big man’s world, it’s a big man blogging 

Gallons of tears have streamed from my eyes,

under thousands of night skies I have questioned why?

Why did you leave me June 18th, 1989?

It was father’s day morning, the day you said goodbye.

I prayed that day it could have been me, that you’d still be alive,

there were no answers, no way for us to reunite.

I just wanted a little more time to say thank you,

Thanks for giving me the nickname boo-boo.

and thanks for always just being you!

Thanks for the honesty and dignity always present in your life.

Thanks for the wisdom in choosing your wife!

Thanks for looking in on me every night.

I know you were sick as a child and cheated death for years,

I’d give almost anything now, for us to watch a game and enjoy a beer.

We still talk, but it’s not the same, with you not here.

I wish I had your confidence when facing my fears.

19 years, I must confess time has failed me,

My grief is still fresh, part of my heart still empty.

Even with a beautiful son of my own who fills me with pride,

Father’s Day, for me remains the day that you died.

The first time I ever saw your father cry.

I yearn to Celebrate this day, I do want to smile,

I guess it’s just going to take me a while.

My hope in the meantime is that I’ve fufilled some of your Dreams,

That somewhere in heaven, your smile just beams.

With the pride of a Father who knows he’s reared a man,

As always your boo boo, is trying to emulate you as best I can.

Loving you and missing you always,

It’s the Son of a Big Man’s world, It’s the Son of a Big Man Blogging!

We’ve seen it before, there are entire websites devoted to tracking the naughty details of Hot for Teacher moments.  The list of women who are giving more than ’extra credit assignments’ to teenage boys is growing daily.

I’m sure there are plenty of Male Teachers who’ve crossed the line too with teenage girls…I bet most of those Men, if the law applied, got some serious Jail time and wear the tag of pedophile for the rest of their lives.

But let’s face it, for the Ladies who in the words of RKelly (he likes em young too) “don’t see nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,” with their Teen Male lovers, Justice is different.

Mary Kay Letorneau, had a baby with a 13 year old student, went to jail, got paroled, was told to stay away from him, went straight to him, got pregnant again and married him!  What male teacher/pedophile has ever done that?

Debra Lefave (google her too) had guy’s wishing they were 13 and in her class!  She barley got in trouble, house arrest…but she was by all media obversations considered to be bikini model fine, so her 13 year old Lover wasn’t harmed by the experience, if anything the attitude was ATTABOY! 

There have been other’s who are also very attractive Women caught up in Sexual relationships with Teenage students and their attractiveness has earned them Lefave-like celebrity.  I actually came across a website that ranked the top 9 female/sex predator/teachers like a baseball lineup! 

Mary Jo Spack, is not all that cute (atleast not in her mug shot) and in the superficial, looks are everything world we live in, that and that alone may get the book thrown at her. 

Spack took a 17 and 18 year old to a hotel, gave them some liquor and gave them something else!  The Liquor was a bad move for sure but atleast her Teen sex partner’s/students had driver’s licenses!

So I’ll be watching the Spack case to see how this one turns out.  If Justice is truly blind, she’ll wear an anklet and then be free to appear on Larry King like Lefave and other’s.

But if Justice sneaks a peek under the blindfold and sees Spack is no Hottie, she may soon find herself in the role of the young, fresh thang in the hallway, pursued by older more experienced Teachers…in Prison!  That’s the ‘Ugly’ Truth!

it’s a big man’s world, it’s a big man Blogging!

I wouldn’t ask but lately you’ve been saying things that make me question who the comments are actually intended for, for instance: In response to the Obama Campaign’s charges that your candidacy represents a 3rd Bush Term, you said, “I think he’s running for Carter’s 2nd Term.” 

Jimmy Carter?  You brought up Carter and you think that Obama’s policies or leadership is a kin to Carter? 

Let me see, Bad foreign Policy, Problems in the Middle East (especially Iran) and Record High GAS PRICES?  I remember these things defining Carter’s Presidency, Who does that sound like right now?

Seriously, the only thing that separates Bush from Carter these days is the fact that Bush isn’t growing Peanuts on his Ranch in Crawford.   Aside from that if the Carter administration was a failure, the Bush administration is certainly it’s equal judged by the previous standards and perhaps dramatically worse.

The thing that truly got me questioning who you are running against is your first advertisement.  It’s called “SAFE” and you can find it at www.johnmccain.com click his multi-media link, watch and listen!!! 

The first thing you say Senator McCain is:”ONLY A FOOL OR A FRAUD TALKS TOUGH ABOUT WAR.”

That’s not Obama, he’s talking about getting out of the war in Iraq, he’s talking about changing the mentality that got us into the war in the first place, he’s talking about diplomacy and talks even with America’s enemies but he’s not talking ‘tough about war.’

Again that would be your new Buddy, President Bush! Remember when he was asked about U-S occupation of Iraq creating and bringing more Terrorists to Iraq?  President Bush’s response: “Bring em on.”  Is the President a Fool or a Fraud?

it’s a big man’s world, it’s a big man blogging!